The Other Side: Selling You Some Positive Vibes

August 18, 2021

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By Kellyanne Hi hi hi hi.

Time for your fortnightly fix of the phantom. I don’t know why you’re all scared of Vincent and his crew; I’m a legitimate ghost. There have been more Bigfoot sightings in the last 24 months than there have been of Kellyanne. I’m a valuable Pokemon who hides in remote countries. 

It seems the mind of a wrestler goes to mush when in a two-year lockdown. Wrestling in its current state could be and should be called questionable. But, you defining yourself as the very thing that becomes questionable makes you, in turn, a riddle.
 
People are trying to keep wrestling alive in Australia. By trying, I mean a YouTube clip here, an upload there — all past footage. But, do you know what I’ve learned? I’ve learned that what has happened in wrestling over the last few years does not age well.

With a free memory online to rejolt your enthusiasm, one would think people would be over the moon. No. It gets sucked in like cigarette smoke then exhaled into nothing. No discussion. 

That got me thinking about legacy.

I had to stop thinking about legacy.

I went on eBay and maxed out my Afterpay account. So I’ll now be paying $20 a week for the following year. That’s too much responsibility for me, but I read somewhere that shopping online relieves mental anguish.  

I’m doing podcasts about a career that never started. 

I see people retiring from jobs they didn’t have. 

Weird. 

There is no legacy. 

There is no thought or discussion on legacy. 

Everyone is treading water.

What I’m writing is painting a dark picture. I like dark pictures. Do you want to hang up a photo of your kid smiling about a new doo-dad you bought them? Come on, man. That’s cliché. Dark times call for dark paintings.

Too many positivity experts out there pumping an agenda, e.g.: book, ad revenue, Pateron, etc.. There’s always a hidden agenda for positivity.

I’m all for negativity; this aversion to it by the entire world is crazy. As performers, there’s an onus to somewhat mirror the troubled times we are living in. 

That’s what is great about negativity in 2021; it very rarely comes out of someone’s mouth with the intent to profit. That makes the prospect of negativity way more exciting. People should see the darkest drama on their screens. Stories of the somewhat real come to life on their screen. 

“But then no one would make any money, Kellyanne. You stupid woman.”

What makes you think they are generating profit now?

Don’t be afraid to make someone uncomfortable.

Kellyanne is a pro wrestler from Australia under contract with Ring of Honor. The Other Side w/Kellyanne appears every other Wednesday.

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Be sure to visit Ring of Honor for more news and updates

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