The Other Side: To All The Weirdos

May 27, 2021


By Kellyanne

To all the weirdos out there, I have dedicated this piece to you. I have done it by saying the word “weird” as much as I can.

Hi guys,

Just me. 

How’s that women’s tournament going at ROH? I see a lot of people asking for longer matches. That’s great. Point is to win them, guys. I don’t think we’re all out there pushing to go longer, and if we are, well, you’d have to question why we’re doing it in the first place. 

Did that hit you hard?

I’ll tell you what’s hitting me hard.

Listening to the radio and hearing the lyrics of current songs. Do you know how weird it is to listen to a song about lockdown whilst being in lockdown? Isn’t that a spin-out? 

With the Vietnam War, all this great anti-war music came out. Let’s say there is a platoon (like in the movie “Platoon”) and they’re all listening to “Blowin’ in the Wind” by Bob Dylan (anti-war song).

They’re all together listening to it; you have a whole bunch of ruddy, war-torn faces around you to gather feedback off (happiness, anger, frustration). It helps you process the situation better, knowing that others are there, in the flesh, to shoulder your pain. 

Us, we, you and I – we have to do it alone. That’s weird. We are in an imaginary war with a virus and we have to listen to anti-virus songs that only speak to our individuality and isolation. Don’t you think that’s weird?

I’m not writing this article with my fingers; it’s the heavy, heavy tears with which I’m hitting the keys.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I should bottle those tears and sell them on an OnlyFans site dedicated to the tears of Australian wrestlers. I’m not doing that. I refuse to do that. I won’t do that. 

Quick question: In the Meat Loaf song “I Would Do Anything For Love,” what’s he referring to when he sings, “But I won’t do that?” It’s a bit weird. Can’t just say “anything” with a “but” like that. Weird.

I don’t want to look it up because I’ll just forget it. The only things I recall today are things that cause me much shame to remember, so if someone berates me with what it means online it should stick like Super Glue. That way, I’ll know. 

I know it’s a bit weird to talk about this kind of stuff, but everything else is so damn boring.

What else is in the news? Oooof, I just went to a news site. Trust me, you don’t want to know. 


Kellyanne is a pro wrestler from Australia under contract with Ring of Honor. The Other Side w/Kellyanne appears every other Wednesday.


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