- Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.
- Costello: Funny names?
- Abbott: Nicknames, nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third–
- Costello: That’s what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.
- Abbott: I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third–
- Costello: You know the fellows’ names?
- Abbott: Yes.
- Costello: Well, then who’s playing first?
- Abbott: Yes.
- Costello: I mean the fellow’s name on first base.
- Abbott: Who.
- Costello: The fellow playin’ first base.
- Abbott: Who.
- Costello: The guy on first base.
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