,By Kellyanne Hello there. There is a juggling act going on in my mind. There are no balls, only images. One image has fear attached to it. I don’t believe I’m fearful for my well-being; this is more a universal fear. In wrestling, the only fear I’ve had is the fear of failure – what I’m feeling now does not hit me in the chest like that; this rocks my entire body, and it is ever-present. It is no secret that a lot of us have become disenfranchised from our world. How could you not? The only thing I know about life is that it continues, it moves forward, but I don’t understand what is progressive and what is regressive. We get told one thing and are supposed to feel optimistic about it, but every God-given instinct throws us into a fight-or-flight scenario. Maybe I’m paranoid. What do you want me to do? Repress that feeling and those instincts? To pretend they don’t exist is to not exist at all, in my opinion. How are you supposed to become an individual when you are forcibly coerced to think one way? “Kellyanne, you are not forced to do anything.” Do you want to participate? If you wish to participate, you have to adopt the body’s way of thinking to do so. For example, I’m a great wrestler and seek to do battle with others. To battle, you need conflict. To create conflict, you need difference, and it’s hard to develop difference when you’re all in one mode of thinking. The body used to have broad parameters on what was an acceptable line of thinking, and civility would come into play … manners. You could all get along yet still have differences. It doesn’t float like that anymore. “That’s different. You are talking about a wrestler and not the individual who is behind it.” This is where I tell you to shut up; wrestlers can’t hide behind that excuse anymore. You blur everything once you give the audience access to your inner thoughts and feelings via your opinion. People aren’t stupid, and treating them as such has caused the degradation of this beautiful sport. What you say is what you represent. The children. Anyway, the other image is one of self-critique and my good friend – remorse. Have I become so disenfranchised that I’m desperate to project my negativity on any current scenario which brushes up against my mind? It could be true. I tick all the boxes demographically – young, female, perceived as strong. The world is my oyster, according to what my television box says. I don’t like oysters, though. A turd is still a turd. Where’s the bit where I’m grateful for all the progress? As I said, I don’t understand the word progress. When the whole world pines for nostalgia, how can I believe in what is progressive? The last image (only the last because I’m at my word count) is one of who I am and the feeling of – joy. Why can’t you be joyous in your sad state? I like being able to think the way I do. I like being able to put it on paper and present it to the world. Of course, you have to fight yourself to write something like this, and I am a fighter. That is what I do. If I can’t wrestle, if I can’t fight you in the ring – you can bet your ass I will fight you in these words. I could quite possibly be talking to myself in all of this rambling. Pay no attention and go about your business, citizen. Regards, K.A. Kellyanne is a pro wrestler from Australia under contract with Ring of Honor. The Other Side w/Kellyanne appears every other Wednesday. , Be sure to visit Ring of Honor for more news and updates
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