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By Kellyanne
Influence is everywhere.
Hi,
I am Kellyanne, and I will be competing with your favorite wrestler’s ass photo to try and steal a minute of your precious, precious time.
Serious Q: Why the hell is everyone trying to steer you in the direction of their own folly? Do you think it’s because they have no idea what they are doing or where they are going, and are looking for some validity by having you upvote, like, and share some of their well-thought-out ideas?
I’m tongue in cheek here; their ideas are stupid. If someone has a great idea they keep that gem to themselves. Be wary of ideas. It’s 2021. I write to you not to steer you, but to stand outside the workplace with you, smoke a cigarette, and ask: “What’s with this?”
Who am I?
“I whine on the internet, but then when a match gets announced,
I suddenly become tough and talk of kicking teeth out.”
If you watch a documentary on anyone who has genius, you quickly realize that all these greatest of greats have very little in the way of friendship. Being great doesn’t make you good. Being good doesn’t make you great. Being good and great in 2021, I don’t think that’s possible.
We all have to do stupid things in order to climb this imaginary ladder to nowhere. That really is where you end up – nowhere. You’re so tangled and twisted by the time you “make it” anywhere you don’t know your lefts from your rights.
Really, it kind of loops back to why I ask my Serious Q above. I don’t know, man. I’m just a sheep looking for something green. Heaps of friends if you’re into whatever is green.
I’d tell you to do something, but I’m not qualified.
I’d tell you to stay positive, but positivity is annoying.
Speaking of annoying: Nicole Savoy made a passing comment about me on Twitter. Nicole is all about anime. She talks to me as if I live in that world. I live in a world where if Nicole Savoy comes anywhere near me, her chest is going to get lit up like the 4th of July.
Inner circle stuff: You want a little inner circle tidbit? I feel that there is a lot of pressure on me to buy an air fryer. Maybe I don’t want a damn air fryer, guys! Maybe I think that air frying steak sucks. MEAT AND FLAME. Not meat and a damn gust of hot air. What? You haven’t got 8 minutes to put a steak on the grill, but you have 6 minutes to blow it with some hot air? OK. OK, buddy. Whatever you say. Give me some of that surplus money you have to waste on this junk and I’ll buy another skillet and hit you over the head with it.
Hey, hey. My big tag match got canceled due to the sniffles and now it’s back on this weekend. I’m excited about that. Every time I have a heated feud, and trust me, this one has a lot of personal and professional heat, I feel vindicated for the tragic life I live.
Look, I’m serious here; no doubt there have been some feelings hurt during this one … no doubt, but it’s worth having a few more enemies just so you can take another sweet breath of true wrestling life. The life I signed up for that my predecessors created all those years ago.
Yours fryingly,
K.A
Kellyanne is a pro wrestler from Australia under contract with Ring of Honor. The Other Side w/Kellyanne appears every other Wednesday.
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