Guess who’s back in the house? It’s the eliminated queens, of course! “RuPaul’s Drag Race” episode 15 is the long-awaited Lalaparuza with a twist!
RuPaul-A-Paruza On a Budget
Between Briar Blush having to sit out, the arrangement of each round, and the hilarious tiff between Jane Don’t and Ciara Myst, this was an actually entertaining episode. Even without an actual reunion. No, seriously, why does “UK Vs. The World” and other spin-offs get reunion episodes, but the actual main flagship doesn’t? Weird.
Let’s break down the best parts of episode 15.
The Reunion
While we didn’t get a proper reunion format, it was comforting to see all 14 queens back in the Werk Room for a little bit. Ciara is still more pressed than a panini about being sent home during “Rate-A-Queen” and comes into the room wearing a Carrie-inspired, bloody prom look; extra dramatic. We love to see it.
Briar talked about having pneumonia and then eventually sepsis after she fainted on stage in episode four. Her doctor basically told her she can’t perform in the lip sync smackdown because of complications from her illness. Everyone was sympathetic and understanding, which was sweet. It’s so wild to see Briar’s storyline ending abruptly here. She had so much potential as a season-long villain. Regardless, her health is the most important thing and I’m happy she’s taking care of herself.
Later in the episode, Jane Don’t asked Ciara about the suitcase full of scrap fabric she got in episode 10 and claimed was sabotage. Ciara claimed it wasn’t sabotage and Jane doesn’t believe her, and annoyingly enlisted the whole room to gang up on Ciara. Ciara rightfully called out the fact that she literally won using her fabric and the Seattle redhead started getting spicy. This ended up being a tiff that really went nowhere, so why was it even included? Were the fans dying to have a resolution to this very random, minor thread?
One of the best things about the “Drag Race” fan base is how quickly they’ll notice and call shit out and one of those things was why the Lalaparuza this year was only RuPaul songs. Well, she made a joke about it while introducing the judges. IT’S CHEAPER, YOU UNGRATEFUL WHORES. The U.S. economic turndown is affecting everyone, including the most famous drag queen on the planet.
Round One: The Early (ish) Outs
There’s a live audience for this smackdown, which is so nice. The girls are used to performing in front of crowds, so it only makes sense for there to be one here. Briar is looking delicious in a comic-book, graphic art-style gown and sits on the sidelines.
The set-up for the smackdown was slightly different than usual. The first six queens eliminated competed in the first round, while the next 3 eliminated queens (Kenya Pleaser, Jane, Discord Addams) got to skip the first round and go straight to round two. Juicy Love Dion, as the last eliminated queen, got to skip the first two rounds which is CRAZY, considering she is a literal first round pick in the lip syncing draft. (Discord literally called her the “final boss,” which is very accurate.)
Ciara picked Athena Dion for the first lip sync because she thinks Athena will pick the song she wants which is “Born Naked” and she was absolutely right. Ciara was wearing a mutated, body horror monster with a head piece of her own face in a dress and Athena donned a simple white structured coat dress that revealed an interesting red…thing. Their lip sync was slow, but once the reveal happened, it got more active.
Winner: Ciara, which doesn’t make any sense, Athena definitely won that lip sync.
Mia Starr picks Mandy Mango and she picks “Just What They Want.” The girls watching in the back are gagged because it’s a “wordy” song (per Athena). While this was a much more entertaining lip sync than the first one, Mandy’s vogueing and dips were a bit suspect. Mia’s powerful and assured movements, plus the money gag (REAL MONEY, by the way) gave her the win easily. Why did Mandy choose this song? She struggled a lot with the lyrics.
Winner: Mia, duh.
DD Fuego vs. Vita VonTesse Starr in the final lip sync of the first round with Vita choosing “Main Event.” It wasn’t the most memorable lip sync, let’s be real. DD’s had wig reveals and outfit reveals, while commanding the stage a lot, but Vita was really focused on emoting the song.
Winner: Vita!
Round Two: The Girls in the Middle
Vita chooses Mia which is crazy especially after talking about how tired she was, now she has to do back to back lip syncs. Mia chooses “Call Me Mother,” because she’s choreographed it before and Vita is aghast. WELL, WHY DID YOU CHOOSE HER, SWEATY?
A true battle of the fringe, they both did great, but Mia has a better handle on the lyrics. Vita commands the stage whenever she’s on, so I am truly impressed with her as a performer.
Winner: Mia!
Kenya chooses Ciara and Ciara picks “Pretty Gang.” It was actually pretty tight between these two, they both embodied the song well.
Winner: Kenya!
Discord Addams and Jane are in the final lip sync of the second round. The funniest and probably the best moment of the episode was Jane choosing the song. She does the funniest thing imaginable and chooses “Sissy That Walk” for her and Discord to perform to. What a fantastic way to cap off Discord’s entire storyline this season.
While the walking bit was so great with Discord doing her walk during the breakdown and Jane copying her, I was a bit disgruntled seeing that Discord didn’t know the lyrics that well. This is one of the most iconic RuPaul songs of the “Drag Race” era and you don’t know it? As a drag queen? For shame.
Winner: Jane! Bonus: we get one final Discord Cam as Discord sashayed away.
Round Three: The Final Boss
Jane picked Juicy and explained her reasoning in a confessional: she knew that Kenya or Mia would pick “Peanut Butter” and she didn’t want to be in an ass shaking competition with either one. EVERYONE IS GAGGED. But she was correct in her strategizing; Juicy picks “Cha Cha Bitch.”
Y’all can say whatever you want about Juicy and Jane and their placements in the competition, but you’ll never convince me that Juicy isn’t THAT bitch. She did the nastiest reveal I’ve ever seen: a handstand into a reveal. I had to rewatch that a few times. Everyone lost their composure, especially the audience. That was the moment Jane lost. While Jane really did hold her own, it was never going to be enough, not with Juicy’s historic reveal.
Winner: Juicy, of course.
Side note: I feel awful for Jane. What a sick season she had only to end up like this, but she took it in stride.
Kenya vs. Mia doing “Peanut Butter” and yep, lots of ass shaking. This was probably my favorite lip sync, after Juicy vs. Jane; just a fun, high-energy contest with the two biggest personalities of the season.
Winner: Mia!
The Dion family swept talent again and entered the final round.
Championship Round
RuPaul realizing the name of the episode is too damn long to say all the time was one of my favorite moments of the episode. She is such a self-aware comedian.
Mia pointed out that the last couple of lip sync smackdown winners have been from Florida (Juicy’s drag mother, Morphine Love Dion and Suzie Toot from the previous season).
The last time Juicy and Mia lip synced, they tied. This was truly the ultimate tie breaker. Juicy really seemed like she was trying to connect with Mia, but Mia was mostly focused on herself up until Juicy started doing the “Slave 4 U” choreography, then Mia locked in. Honestly, I didn’t know who won this one; they both did so damn good but…
Winner: JUICY LOVE DION WINS $50,000!
Final Thoughts
What a fantastic, thrilling display of lip syncing talents. We got to see the early out queens (DD and Mandy) present more of their performance talents and a Dion family rematch. What more could a “Drag Race” fan ask for? Juicy really ate her lip syncs up, but I wonder if, through the structure of the rounds, was production saving her for last so the judges didn’t get bored of her tricks? Who cares! Juicy is a talent and deserves the coin.
Next week, we return for the crowning of our new “Drag Race” reigning queen. Myki Meeks, Darlene Mitchell, or Nini Coco will be crowned the next drag superstar. Who’s your pick?
Season 18 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” airs weekly on Fridays at 5/8 p.m. PT/ET on MTV.
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